Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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