What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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