so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
