It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
