I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
