It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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