Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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