Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
