then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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