Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Houston, we have a blender
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
