I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
