what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
my poor anus
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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