He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Randomize
