Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
