Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
