You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
