i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
