my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
