I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
