i may or may not be watching the land before time
My cat gives me a boner
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
is that a dick in a sweater?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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