I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
