other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
