Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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