I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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