fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
