Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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