I puked a lego.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
