are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
