meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
