He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
