oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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