Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
