just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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