i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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