Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
