Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So squirting runs in the family.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
