At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
