Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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