i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
