Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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