First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
