You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
