Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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