He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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