hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
