I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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