Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
