Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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