we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
