Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize