dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
