White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
