Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just want to make out with him forever
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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