sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
