She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
