Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
