People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
