Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
