everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
